Being attached to things that have happened in the past can limit future possibilities through beliefs, behaviours, and language used in the present.
Knowing what you are attached to can be very useful in becoming unstuck, even when you aren’t initially aware you are stuck. To achieve this requires mindful practice and detachment.
Let’s start with your beliefs:
- Is being right important to you? (Perhaps always, maybe sometimes)
- Do you look for approval from others?
- Do you believe what you have isn’t enough?
- Do you readily accept that people may challenge you?
- Do you see value in the opinions of others?
- Do you acknowledge there may be other possibilities?
Some questions to consider about behaviours that may be useful are:
- Do you see others as needing your help?
- Do you easily see fault & blame?
- Do you firmly stick to your side during an argument?
- Do you ever question your beliefs?
- Do you listen for others?
- Do you accept people for who they are?
Some questions to consider about language that may be useful are:
- How often do you use the word “should” both verbally & written?
- How often do you say things are “right or wrong”?
- How often do you say things are “too hard”?
- How often do you say, “I take responsibility for…”?
- How often do you say, “I appreciate you for…”?
- How often do you say, “I am going to learn from this”?
There are various situations where you may find yourself attached to your beliefs, behaviours, and language. Having the ability to be aware and then practice detachment in areas you feel would be beneficial can provide you with a different outcome.
Options
Consider that, depending on how you have answered those questions above and other explorations in your life, you are likely to have a tendency towards being attached either some of the time or a lot of the time.
Perhaps you can consider making a commitment to be more aware of your attachments and think about those you wish to become detached from.
Or
Change nothing if this is something you already do or not interested in.
